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When someone says, “You’ve Changed”, it simply means you’ve stopped living your life their way.

Some people call me Mike, you can call me tonight.

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

Train your mind to see good in everything.

Warning…I know KARATE…….And few other oriental words.

Born to express not to impress.

If you’ve never lost your mind, you’ve never followed your heart.

If you like me, then raise your hand, If not then raise your standard.

Oh, so you wanna argue, bring it. I got my CAPS LOCK ON.

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

His I.Q. is so low you can’t test it. You have to dig for it.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.

Evil is obvious only in retrospect.

I’d far rather be happy than right.

I’d explain it to you but I’m afraid your head might explode.